| | The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong, it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair. |
| | Start every day off with a smile and get it over with. |
| | People everywhere confuse what they read in newspapers with news. |
| | The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said. |
| | Time has a wonderful way of showing us what really matters. |
| | Tact is the knack of making a point without making an enemy. |
| | The Internet is a telephone system that's gotten uppity. |
| | My definition of an expert in any field is a person who knows enough about what's really going on to be scared. |
| | Don't hit at all if it is honorably possible to avoid hitting, but never hit soft! |
| | There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you. |
| | By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest. |
| | When I am attacked by gloomy thoughts, nothing helps me so much as running to my books. They quickly absorb me and banish the clouds from my mind. |
| | It isn't that they can't see the solution. It is that they can't see the problem. |
| | You need only reflect that one of the best ways to get yourself a reputation as a dangerous citizen these days is to go about repeating the very phrases which our founding fathers used in the struggle for independence. |
| | By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong. |
| | What some people mistake for the high cost of living is really the cost of high living. |
| | If nobody spoke unless he had something to say, the human race would very soon lose the use of speech. |
| | Television: chewing gum for the eyes.
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| | "Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." |
| | Where you find the laws most numerous, there you will find also the greatest injustice.
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| | The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet. |
| | Character - the willingness to accept responsibility for one's own life - is the source from which self respect springs. |
| | We've gotten to the point where everybody's got a right and nobody's got a responsibility. |
| | Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive! |
| | You can't do anything about the length of your life, but you can do something about its width and depth. |
| | I have learned to use the word "impossible" with the greatest caution. |
| | Do not pray for easy lives. Pray to be stronger men. |
| | It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something. |
| | Much of the social history of the Western world over the past three decades has involved replacing what worked with what sounded good |
| | You know what they call the guy who finishes last in medical school? They call him "Doctor". |
| | "When you reach the end of your rope...tie a knot in it and hang on." |
| | "When a man says he approves of something in principle, it means he hasn't the slightest intention of carrying it out in practice." |
| | "We need not worry so much about what man descends from-it's what he descends to that shames the human race." |