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"How long does getting thin take?" Pooh asked anxiously
  
People everywhere confuse what they read in newspapers with news.
  
Death is more universal than life; everyone dies but not everyone lives.
  
You know what they call the guy who finishes last in medical school? They call him "Doctor".
  
"Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be."
  
The best thing about the future is that it only comes one day at a time.
  
The Lord prefers common-looking people. That is why he makes so many of them.
  
The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
  
Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of Truth and Knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods.
  
I never teach my pupils. I only attempt to provide the conditions in which they can learn.
  

All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind is a part of ourselves ...

  
One man with courage makes a majority.
  
Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing that a tomato doesn't belong in a fruit salad
  
Where you find the laws most numerous, there you will find also the greatest injustice.
  
God pity the American who does not love the flag.
  
A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.
  
It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird; it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg.
  
You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream
  
The fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown.
  
You need only reflect that one of the best ways to get yourself a reputation as a dangerous citizen these days is to go about repeating the very phrases which our founding fathers used in the struggle for independence.
  
The pain of parting is nothing to the joy of meeting again
  
By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong.
  
While our soldiers stand and fight, I can stand and feed and nurse them.
  
The Internet is a telephone system that's gotten uppity.
  
Don't bother people for help without first trying to solve the problem yourself.
  
By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest.
  
It's called a pen. It's like a printer, hooked straight to my brain.
  
Education is learning what you didn't know you didn't know.
  
A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others have thrown at him.
  
A committee can make a decision that is dumber than any of its members.
  
What some people mistake for the high cost of living is really the cost of high living.
  
The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
  
A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools
  
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
  
The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong, it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair.
  
A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
  
To look up and not down, To look forward and not back, To look out and not in, and To lend a hand.
  
There is nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
  
You can't do anything about the length of your life, but you can do something about its width and depth.
  
Start by doing what's necessary, then do what's possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible.
  
Television: chewing gum for the eyes.
  
It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.
  
The test of our progress is not whether we add more to the abundance of those who have much; it is whether we provide enough for those who have too little.
  
Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.
  
The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time.
  
It isn't that they can't see the solution. It is that they can't see the problem.
  
A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.
  
A man travels the world in search of what he needs and returns home to find it.
  
To see what is in front of one's nose needs a constant struggle.
  
Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do, and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.
  
Liberty, when it begins to take root, is a plant of rapid growth.
  
If they try to rush me, I always say I've only got one other speed and it's slower.
  
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
  
You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.
  
Always write angry letters to your enemies. Never mail them.
  
The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet.
  
If someone is going down the wrong road, he doesn't need motivation to speed him up. He needs education to turn him around.
  
Character - the willingness to accept responsibility for one's own life - is the source from which self respect springs.
  
If the people who make the decisions are the people who will also bear the consequences of those decisions, perhaps better decisions will result.
  
A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.
  
Do not pray for easy lives. Pray to be stronger men.
  
A nation reveals itself not only by the men it produces but also by the men it honors, the men it remembers.
  
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
  
Relying on the government to protect your privacy is like asking a peeping tom to install your window blinds.
  
You know you're a geek when ... you try to shoo a fly away from your monitor with your cursor. That just happened to me. It was scary.
  
Begin at the beginning and go on till you come to the end; then stop.
  
Most of the things worth doing in the world had been declared impossible before they were done.
  
Time has a wonderful way of showing us what really matters.
  
"We need not worry so much about what man descends from-it's what he descends to that shames the human race."
  
We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools.
  
When you are in the final days of your life, what will you want? Will you hug that college degree in the walnut frame? Will you ask to be carried to the garage so you can sit in your car? Will you find comfort in rereading your financial statement? Of course not. What will matter then will be people. If relationships ...(tharr be more)will matter most then, shouldn't they matter most now?
  
Be like a duck, calm on the surface, but always paddling like the dickens underneath.
  
You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing.
  
When I am attacked by gloomy thoughts, nothing helps me so much as running to my books. They quickly absorb me and banish the clouds from my mind.
  
Impossible is a word to be found only in the dictionary of fools.
  
We've gotten to the point where everybody's got a right and nobody's got a responsibility.
  
You can't appreciate home till you've left it, money till it's spent, your wife til she's joined a woman's club, nor Old Glory till you see it hanging on a broomstick on the shanty of a consul in a foreign town.
  
Thanksgiving Day...the one day that is purely American.
  
The young man knows the rules, but the old man knows the exceptions.
  
Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.
  
"When a man says he approves of something in principle, it means he hasn't the slightest intention of carrying it out in practice."
  
My definition of an expert in any field is a person who knows enough about what's really going on to be scared.
  
The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said.
  
Sometimes the appropriate response to reality is to go insane.
  
‎On behalf of all Americans I want a message sent to every member of the corps, to every place where the words Semper Fidelis is a way of life. General, tell it to the Marines, whether in ceremonial white or leatherneck blue, whether in dress greens or combat camouflage, whether they serve in the air, on land, or at sea, tell them that their countrymen are grateful. Tell them that we stand behind them. Tell them that we're proud of our proudest.
  
It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.
  
In skating over thin ice, our safety is in our speed.
  
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots.
So far, the Universe is winning.
  
In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on.
  
By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be the boss and work twelve hours a day.
  
Keep your fears to yourself, but share your courage with others.
  
A friend who cannot in a pinch remember a thing or two that never happened is as bad as one who does not know how to forget."
  
Tact is the knack of making a point without making an enemy.
  
Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive!
  
Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window.
  
Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.
  
Don't hit at all if it is honorably possible to avoid hitting, but never hit soft!
  
There is far more opportunity than there is ability.
  
Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.
  
Perhaps the most valuable result of all education is the ability to make yourself do the thing you have to do, when it ought to be done, whether you like it or not; it is the first lesson that ought to be learned.
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